I grew up trying to decode the hidden messages in my Rice Krispy cereal, as I was certain they were trying to tell me something; the commercials said they talked, and I believed it. I intently held my ear to the bowl listening to the snap, crackle and pop of the cereal to decipher the Morse code message it sent out. I would always determine that the cereal was singing happy songs or telling me to have a wonderful day at school.
As I grew older, my food gave me other messages. It told me many negative things that I do not feel are appropriate to put into print. Essentially, the carefree messages from my Rice Krispies turned into condescending, scathing messages that gave more power to ED. Eventually I learned to accept these ideas as truth. Recovery has taught me that it is ok to not listen to those negative messages. It is ok to eat. It is ok to stop when I am full. And it is perfectly acceptable to allow that food to remain in my stomach. Food does not have the power to tell me how I should feel.
That being said, yesterday my food sent me another message. My little sister (9 years younger than me) gave me a box of those chalky sweetheart conversation hearts. As much as they taste like sticks of chalk, I think they are delicious. Most of the candies had childish says such as, “text me” or “u r cute”. One candy, however, caught my attention. It said “U can do it”. I stopped. I thought. Yes, I CAN do it. Recovery is attainable. Full recovery is possible. And I can do it. I just have to keep putting in the daily effort to counter the negative messages ED sends me with the positive messages of recovery. I need to continue to do the next right thing for my recovery. Although I try not to listen to my food anymore, this was one message I could not ignore.
1 Corinthians 10:13
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
“You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.” –Max Lucado