one girl's thoughts on life, mental illness, eating disorder recovery, and hope.

When you go out in public August 9, 2013

One of the hardest things in recovery is simply going out into the world. Whether it is to the grocery, the post office, dinner with friends or even a drive across town…each trip brings with it a certain edge of anxiety. Ed is always in the back of your mind telling you of her opinion on how you look, how others think you look, and how she thinks you look/what you can eat/when you must purge/how dumb you are (all of her thoughts are lies, by the way). Ultimately, she has two goals: to kill you and to isolate you from others until she can kill you. That’s it. 

A big part of my recovery has been asking for help when I need it, and reconnecting with others through the isolation of Ed. Rejoining the outside world has been  instrumental in reminding me that I am, indeed, more than my Ed…that I am a wonderfully imperfect human being and as such, I deserve to enjoy my life. 

Here are some photos I took of Cincinnati’s Music Hall during their Luminocity show–which combined the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra, Cincinnati Ballet, and lots of really cool lights. I enjoyed a night spent with my friend Melissa in the bushes of Washington Park listening the symphony and watching the lights moving in perfect synchronicity to the music…along with 15,000 of our closest friends (ok, so maybe they were not really our “friends”). 


Psalms 46:5

God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.


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