In September I was let go from one of my two jobs; the one that carried my health insurance. Two weeks later I had a car accident, and was issued my first ever traffic citation in over fifteen years of driving. A month and a half after that I lost my favorite job, and my sense of worth along with it. What I didn’t lose, though, was God.
We all go through valleys in our life. Most of the time, we get there and we become disgruntled, accusatory, or lose faith in the Lord. We want to be anywhere but in the valley. Who would choose to be in a dark situation or facing a seemingly insurmountable obstacle? I’ve been there, and I’m there right now. In my valley, my sense of worthlessness grew exponentially and I questioned if I deserved anything. Perhaps you have felt similarly in your own valleys? Or maybe you’ve pushed those feelings aside, turning instead to addiction, working too much, or other means of distraction to numb the pain. We might be in the valley, but we’re going to do everything in our power not to feel it, acknowledge it, or admit it…especially to ourselves.
As Emily P. Freeman, author and podcaster says, “When things end, our hearts might break, especially when the ending is unexplainable. The ending is a part, but it isn’t a whole. Don’t let the ending steal the narrative.” Our valleys are not our whole, and they don’t deserve to take the entirety of our narrative. However, when we’re in a valley, the last thing we can think about is anything other than the valley. It consumes us, our thoughts, our actions, our being. It seemingly becomes us.
The Lord, though, has other plans. He doesn’t take us to a valley and abandon us, nor does he lead us halfway through the valley only to leave us to figure the rest out for ourselves. No, he walks the length and the breadth of the valley with us, comforting and leading us for the entirety. Whether short or long, arduous or mild; God holds our hand and guides us through the valley. But, as humans, we often lose sight of that. We think we can do it on our own; “pull ourselves up by the bootstraps.” We may think that our valley is too shallow to trouble God with by asking Him for help. That is far from the truth.
Without the valleys, we cannot appreciate the mountaintops. Our valleys are not the whole of our stories; they’re an ending of us following our own ways, searching for our own control, and seeking our own desires. Emily asks that we be, “Willing to walk with me through your own endings, for considering an alternative narrative to the story you’re telling yourself, and for starting to get curious about how God might be showing up for you in ways you might not have been looking for.” God is with us in the valleys even when we do not see Him or are not seeking Him. What story are you telling yourself about your life? Your valleys? Your mountaintops? What would it take for you to trust God to lead you to the next mountaintop?
Admittedly, I do often think of my valleys as the whole of my narrative. When I relate my life stories, I speak to my long-suffering with depression, anxiety, self-harm, and eating disorders first. After all, they’re the part of my story with which I’m most familiar; the stories with which I’ve lived the longest. To the casual observer, it might seem as if I lived and have taken up residency in a valley. I then speak to the mountaintop moments; how God used those long-suffering valleys to guide me closer to Him and to teach me more about His sovereign power and love. Though my currently valley is not over, I can see God’s hand in it as I navigate the “what’s next” moments. Even though I know I have a long way to go through this valley, I also know I’m not doing it alone. My God will take His daughter by the hand; guiding me over rough terrain, inviting me to rest in Him, and replenishing me with His Living Water.
Like Emily, I challenge you to consider what joy can be found in the experience prior to the ending; “before the season of goodbye, what hellos were you able to say?” And how were you able to grow in this experience? Where can you see God in those endings?
Psalm 27:14, “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord”
Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
RheasOfHope 